Express am F train

I had a very strange dream last night, it brought up someone that I haven’t seen or heard from in a while. I was asking them if I could maintain a relationship with them and they kept looking to other people for answers and it was always no. Strange subconscious.

I woke up this morning thinking I had beat my alarm clock and it was so early and I had so long to get ready and eat some peanut butter toast and relax, little did I know I had not reset my alarm after I had changed it over the weekend and I actually was late in getting up. I think I have no become an expert in pulling myself together in 15 minutes, I think I should work on the growing up and out of this though since I find myself on the train next to girls that are so well put together and look really smart while I am pieced together in what ever is clean and kind of goes matched with jeans and flip flops. I know I work in an art department and that’s not bad to show up in but I think now that I am almost 25 I should step it up in the office dress attire.

Nothing much happened last night. The rain was not fun to walk home in and it is getting that cold snap to the rain so in jeans and flip-flops it was not a good time. Spent the rest of the night in slippers and watching bad TV

This morning on the train I was listening to Suicide file and started to thin about the massive amount of time that has passed since I have been to a show. Maybe that is why I have felt off kilter lately, because I am not surrounded by going to shows and being in an atmosphere I enjoy and is kind of my thing and has been since I was 14 years old. Sometimes New York is just so huge and the hard part about a lot of things is you don’t find out about them until after the fact. And since my current social group is not really comprised of anyone who goes to shows or is into music (those that are that I hang out with always forget to pass the information on in time) I just feel like I need to get back into something. Money is a small problem. But I do miss that atmosphere. I am sure there are still like 1 or 2 bands around that I would be into seeing, the change in going to hard core shows happened to me when most of the new bands picked up a new style (nothing wrong with that) which just didn’t appeal to me, so I just kind of dropped off. Maybe with sawyer coming I can make a better effort. Just something I was thinking about this morning while on the train running express to work while I was already late and listening to something that I haven’t even thought about in way too long.