Strippers and a Steak

How was your weekend? Mine? Well, It had a fairly adventurous start.

Friday: I began with a huge mistake of heading to the discount department store Century 21, which might not be the mecca of NYC that people think, it is actually plain hell. Its ten thousand people crammed into tiny spaces between racks and everyone is grabbing, trying on, and throwing on the floor when it’s not right. I leave that place shaky from the anxiety rush it has produced. So after 30 minutes of consumer insanity I walked out of the store with nothing in hand. I headed to the subway station and decided to get out early at Bergen and stop by a cheese shop on Smith Street called Stinky. It had been a while since Eric and I sat down to a snack date. So exhausted and worn out I finally got home and relaxed for about and hour with Eric. Then I headed down to my old apt to have dinner with Kirsten, Cate, and this girl Kim whom I have met through Cate. Dinner was good, you know nothing massive just some pasta and tofu sauce while watching a bit of the Jesus Camp documentary. This was our meet up point for the rest of the evening to unfold from. At 10, after losing Kristen from the party we descended onto Manhattan to go see Cate and Kim’s friend in a burlesque show. Now I have been to a few burlesque shows in my time but nothing prepared me for what happened. We got in a taxicab that swiftly took us across the bridge into what I shall now refer to as No-Man’s-Land Manhattan (i.e. Wall street and below post 9pm). After a few wrong turns we finally found the club where the show was being held, and with a name like the pussycat lounge I should have been weary but I suppose I was not thinking about it. With about 20 minutes to the start of the show we get in a line which I suspect is for checking ID’s…. oh was I so incorrect. It happened that nothing was happening we were all standing there with the time ticking away waiting to get into the club and these pretty large bouncers with thick accents and definitely flexing their muscles and not letting anyone in due to confusion as to where the show was to be held (down stairs or up stairs) and management (who looked like a bad description of a cross between a mob dude and a massive Chicago bears fan..ie “da bears” circa SNL….shiny jacket and broom mustache too boot). So I turn to Kim who is standing next to me as the tension raises between 20 or so people there for the show and 2 (did I mention they were large) bouncers who have no idea what is happening but who know to refuse anyone to get in until money is offered, so I turn to km and realize while saying out loud “ I now understand how people have been killed in this city by bouncers.” With a flick of $10 and a promise that we are “only “ going down stairs (not where the show is) we slip in. Cate heads to the ladies room and I am standing there realizing a full 10 minutes after being in the room that oh! There are strippers above the bar. Not only Strippers but the most defunct, disinterested, drug coma induced people I have ever laid eyes on. And oh my luck “ smack that ass” is the next song on! Now I get to watch these barely breathing entertainers struggle to lift their hands to, well.. .smack their asses. Needless to say this was not my idea of what my first strip club experience would be like, or that I would be watching the intent patrons of the pussycat lounge having their pizza delivered to the bar. I guess they were hungry and had been there a while. Now that’s devotion my dear man.

We have our route planned and as the bouncer turns around we jolt past him up the stairs, now at this point I am figuring out what a bad idea this is. No amount of batting ones eyelashes is going to get you out of this one. We make it upstairs in time to see the show begin, it was a good show although the theme was all the performances were done to a Jimmy Hendrix’s song. After foxy lady it leaves very little to take ones cloths of in any sexy manner. It was interesting. Especially when I turn around to Kim yelling at an older man in a business suit (judging from his surrounding I would suppose that even in the business man suit this guy was as shady as they come) she is pushing him telling him to back the fuck up, later I was informed she noticed he had his hand all the way down in Cate’s purse without her knowledge. So after all of the like any normal person I am done, Kim and I catch a cab home and I get into bed with Eric (who was the smarter one and had stayed in). I close my eyes at 2 am… fast forward to 5 am. Murphy is barking barking barking, and I am so not amused. Next I hear a taping on the front door, shaking Eric awake I let him know someone is there. He gets up to be met by our upstairs neighbor who has come to tell us the building is full of smoke. Once Eric opens the door to our apt it is more than obvious that there is something going on. We get up and stuff wallets and cell phones into jacket pockets and leash up Murphy to head outside. As we reached the door the landlord (who lives down the street) darts to the downstairs apt. Now NO ONE else in the apt building is aware that anyone has moved in there, but apparently we have new neighbors who like to make steak at 5 am and fall asleep/pass out/ fall into a k hole or drug induced coma and forget they are cooking a fucking steak which burns and fills the WHOLE BUILDING with smoke. Awesome you have lived below me for 2 weeks and already have tried to burn down the building. The next day I looked for an apology note to be taped to the door but was only met with the smell of charred meat (which kind of has a sight undertone of urine…. Believe me I think its weird too)

Saturday- Eric worked and Cate and I went to Woodbury commons since I have the car. Later met up with Becky, Sara, and Andrea for dinner and then met up with Eric, Phil and Kirsten for Kathy’s birthday. Went to bed way to late.

Sunday- slept, girlie afternoon with Kirsten getting nails did, and then dinner at two boots with Eric in Park Slope.

Nothing for a while will trump Friday night!