8.21.06

Last week was pretty hectic. I had a big blowout that took a while to recover from. It seems like thing go along pretty steadily and then you get hit with massive emotional bombs from time to time. I am not good at being angry; I pretty much had an anger hang over from Tuesday when things were resolved probably to Saturday evening. Its just a lot for me, I am never really an angry person so when it happens it goes to the full effect. Done and done, no use harping on the matter any more.

As a result the week was pretty quiet to just kind of relax and sift through things. I watched project runway with Caitlin, Nicole and Cate on Wednesday. Got Mac and Cheese at S’mac with Sara and Becky the night before (tues). And Thursday went to food swings with David and ended up walking past Freddy Prince Jr and Chris Klein. Still trying to make up my mind on if I am excited by the B list celebrity sighting.



Friday I got home and made some plans with Eric. It’s kind of hard to get through the week but I am always excited more so for Friday afternoon because I know he doesn’t have school and will be there when I get home. We went out and got some things to have a small dinner and just relaxed with each other then. After dinner and some sitting around I went out with David to Jay’s birthday party in Williamsburg. I felt really bad, I had really only been there an hour and I just hit a wall. I was absolutely exhausted. So I said some good byes and hoped in the car to go home to bed.


Slept in Saturday morning, eventually got everything together to go to the aquarium (will post pictures tomorrow). I have been planning to go there for about 2 years now and I am glad I finally got on the train and went all the way out to Coney Island. Eric and I walked around for a bit on the boardwalk afterwards then got on the train bound for Candle 79 for a late lunch. Unfortunately we got there at 4 when they had closed for dinner prep. So we went around the corner to Candle Café and had a little dinner (since it was 5:30). Very good. I had a Cajun Setain sandwich with avocado and some dressing that I promise you could have no way been vegan it was too good. And Eric got an Indian dish; I gave him half my sandwich and ate the rest of his saffron rice and lentils. Took a nap and then met cate, heather, chad, dan, and one of dans co-workers and his girl out. I also ran into a girl I used to know in Albany from going to shows so it was nice to sit a minute and talk to her.
Sunday again slept late. Since I was so exhausted from the week it was so nice to do. (And mostly by late I mean like 930 or 10…how sad is that). Went to get some brunch with Cate and then to the red hook swimming pool with her and Eric for a bit. Made a big huge dinner after a trip to fairway and just relaxed for the rest of the evening. I had intentions to go to bed early but those didn’t happen.

So all in all busy but maybe boring.

Eric and I have been talking about going to the Maldives islands as well as Hong Kong at some point, hopefully like a year or so. I would be so excited to go. He wants to stay in this hotel on the islands where you have a cabana on the ocean and most of the floor is see–though glass. I can wait and I really hope it materializes, its just pretty much down to money at this point. More so money than time, but time off from work it also a factor. My trip to South Africa is getting closer. I am looking forward to being out there and also I am a little apprehensive since things aren’t going well family wise and it is intended to be a family trip. But I just hope to go and have a good time.

I will hopefully remember to post the aquarium pictures tomorrow

Bad Habits

Please please please! Someone please take the Internet away from me. I have been looking at this camera all morning long trying to figure out if I would actually sell my body to get it. I need to leave it alone. Its just my good digital broke, so I replaced it with and older one that takes about 10 minutes to actually take a picture after you mash down the button about 6 times for the camera to understand you actually want to take a picture, I am supposed to help Eric with a wedding (catering) in September. Maybe I will do my best to hold out and save up for this. CARL ZEISS LENS!! God I need to stop or I will definitely talk myself into spending an insane amount of money. Plus I am in love with the black one and that one is more expensive than the cheap site I have found the camera on. So I have to tell myself to wait and save up for the black one. Oh so so so beautiful.

Other than my insatiable Internet spending problem, things have been pretty quiet. I have just been around the house lately getting things organized. I need to kind of have some down time. Its been good. Laundry and then cooking and cleaning the other day. Going to Rochester tomorrow. Super excited, bummed out that Caitlin is sick. I hope she feels better when we go. Bummed that Eric is not coming I would really like to show him Rochester and Javas and RIT, bug jar, south avenue, south wedge, Luxx, and everything else. That place kind of has stuck in my head. We will just have to plan to go back some other time.

I want this camera. I need it. I might die if I don’t have it (ok ok I know I will be fine. But you have to admit it is beautiful)

NIce note: my boy made me lunch today. Its only 10:45. I am ready to eat it. Thats the bad part about bringing your lunch is you know its there and you want to eat it before its lunch time. But i have to be better about spending money at lunch at work. If I get really good at it and save lots of dollars i just migth need to buy myself a reward...hmm i wonder what i would buy.....!

Been thinkin

Sometimes I feel like I haven't emotionally left high school in some strange subconscious way. I get tangled up in useless thoughts about groups of friends. I just don’t want to doubt myself they way some people actions make me.

I was thinking about this today in respect to an invite I received obviously on a email all list rather the selected out individually. I feel embarrassed that I never really got a chance to explain my side of a lot of mistakes I made when speaking and hanging out with them. I basically feel embarrassed that they have the wrong impression of me because I was going through a tough time.

Then you have to re-evaluate the situation and understand that you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to people who are worth it. People that are you friends take the time to understand and give you an opportunity to clarify maybe a confused state you were in. See I revert back to high school in the repsect that i don’t understand why these people (other than true friends) don’t want to give you the time to clarify and just seem to have a very bad understanding...

Rambling I know.

case of the mondays

Good weekend. I can’t understand why I am so tired this Monday but it’s taking a while to get the mental engines going.

Friday: bought a butcher-block table from craigslist after seeing one on the way to work that we could have had. When we got the roommates to go back for it someone had already picked it up. It was a damn nice table as well. And when I came to work and told my bosses about it they both told me I should have just come in later and called. Even more frustrating. Anyways found a cheap on criagslist. It is definitely a necessity right now. Our counter space is about two feet at the most it makes cooking pretty much impossible, so now we have increased the space a good amount. If only the cat would understand we bought the table for food prep not for him to lay on. Bob came with me to get the table then dropped him off in Manhattan picked up cate and brought the table home. The apt is coming together; it has a completely different feel to it from the first two years I lived there.
Got everything together and drove out to Long Island to go to the beach for the weekend realizing half way out there I forgot my swim suit so a stop at target to sort for hours through the remnants of what they had left for suits… the worst thing was that none of them were on sale. Ah well.

Saturday: Spent the day on the beach. Cate’s friends from work came out and so did Craig and his girlfriend. Been doing my best to stop being a brat and be sweet. Just hung out on the beach and had some bbq for dinner. I am pretty convinced that I had a soy hot dog fro every meal starting Friday night to Saturday night. Ate some Avocado dip, was not a good idea later in the night. Should have known better that it was pretty much made from a science experiment rather than actual food.

Sunday: Came back to Brooklyn and relaxed a bit then met up with Eric and went to his brothers house with his mom and step dad and Eric cooked us all dinner. Very good. It was heirloom tomatoes with corn and cucumber salad. Then I had setian with burssel sprouts, mushrooms, potatoes, kale, and collard greens. Very very yummy. I think I ate myself sick. Came home and went to bed.

Funny story, I found out that the new rooms mate has friends that now live in park slope who were actually the previous tenants in our apartment when I moved in to it two years ago. When we moved in I asked why the girls that were there were leaving and the broker said that one was going to live with her boyfriend and the other two were getting a place. It turns out that my new roommate her friends were the two boyfriends and girlfriend that moved in together and are now married. She used to have my room. Bizarre and super small world.

115 dgrees for 3 days and counting

So I am sitting at work today during this hell week of weather and hotness and we get a automated pop-up that tells us that the AC is being turned off and to turn off all non-essential lights to conserve energy because con ed is having rolling black outs. Now keep in mind I live in a city that everything is piled up on everything else and if there is a black out in this heat I have no idea what the hell we would do to survive and not get heat stroke. So with lights off and temp in the office rising and we get an announcement (we have loud speakers in the office and to paint an even better picture for you the way that they sound is not far off from the way that the subway announcements sound. You can barely make out what is being said to you. This is our emergency system…needless to say I don’t feel so safe sometimes) so this is the announcement…or what I could understand of it:

“Con ed had issued an evacuation of the premises. Those who will not evacuate will receive a police escort from the building. But since con ed doesn’t know what they are doing and have since recalled the evacuation, I will not evacuate and turn the ac back on but keep all non essential light off”

I am not sure how I feel about this. I can only imagine since the past few days have been hell with the train the brutal return by foot to Brooklyn. Because when there is an emergency like this in the city cabs gouge prices and charge by zones and are virtually impossible to come by. I found this out very quickly during the TWA transit strike over the winter. I must admit that walking over the Brooklyn Bridge in a mild winter weather with the proper gear sounds a hell of a lot better than walking over it in 115 degree weather with the sun beating down on you. And you knew in the winter where you were going would be warm. I could very well walk home to a power outage in Brooklyn as well. And with no power in brooklyn i could not continue to add to my electricity bill with the 3 (yes i said 3) AC units in out itty bitty apt.Fingers crossed that the world doesn't end today from this hellish hotness.

It reminds me that when we had the transit strike right before Christmas how Cate, myself and Dan C. all plied into his small studio apartment in little Italy for three days.One studio meant for one person housing 3, needless to say we all had to be on our sweetest behavior to survive the lack of personal space. And they would walk 35 blocks up town and then some to get to work. It was nice and memorable. Just shows that you gotta do what you have to do and on a daily basis the city just throws things at you that you have to deal with. If its not trains and such its always something else. This city definitely turns you into an indestructible problem-solving individual who is affected by very little. I think I love it about it here.

Eric started school and thing have been going well. As much as I miss the time spent it is nice to have some time to myself to catch up and go out with some friends. He is apparently the class nerd because he knows so much and is comfortable in the kitchen. I just hope he doesn’t get discouraged when he doesn’t excel at everything and actually learns thing instead of just knowing it. I think this is good for him. He is always really excited to tell me about what they cooked and things like that.

Bad new is I have had to promise to stop eating soy margarine and consider stopping drinking soymilk. He explained what he was taught about the processes of how they are made and how it is very very unhealthy for you. I agree to the margarine… not sure I can give up the soymilk. I love it in the cereal in the morning. We’ll see. His premise on this argument is one that his teacher brought up that they way we process our food and the politics behind what is considered healthy being based solely on companies and their power. In a round about way what we perceive to be healthy might really not be for us and he made a good point that in comparison to a country that doesn’t process and pasteurize the hell out of its food (like France because it is a French cooking school he is attending)..He just says to compare the rate of cancer to us. America has such an increased rate of cancer and it is directly related to a day-to-day food intake. Hmmm.

Positive note: I guess now I have a personal chef and nutritionalist for a boyfriend. I suppose I can do nothing but benefit and eat better.