deep thoughts
Last night was quiet the evening. First of all its been getting warm lately which is absolutely perfect, it makes me remember summer in NYC which is probably my most favorite feeling ever. So it was nice walking to the movie theater after work and stopping into pick up some dinner snack so that I wouldn’t end up eating a big bad pf popcorn, which i have recently read is pretty damn awful for you to eat. Which is terrible since I used to enjoy huge bag fulls of the stuff when I was in high school and had friends who worked at the local artsy theater bring me the left over stuff in a huge garbage bag and I would just eat it for days. Come to think of it that was all pretty gross. So I have to continue on and add that to my list of stuff to try not to eat. I have been doing very well eating healthier. Unfortunately I still have some secret down falls (French fries and mayo), which are filthy filthy habits, and those are the hardest to break.
The movie was absolutely wonderful. It was just amazing to watch everything looked like an hdr photograph and the visual details were perfect. Zach Snyder is definitely a very talented individual. So I definitely enjoyed seeing the film, there really wasn’t many times during the movie where I would kind of stop and feel like it was inconsistent of unnecessary. Although I did read something over the web that there was a strong feeling that the movie was to be interpreted as pro war in regards to the Iraq conflict. Even in understanding he historical significance of Ancient Greece and their philosophies of freedom and democracy I did have a slight feeling from time to time that G.W. was going to pop up on the movie and encourage us to fight for freedom against the bad terriorists, since the term was uttered more than a few times in battle scenes. I was dicussing it this morning with my co-worker mary, ithas alot to it and it makes me want to go back and study that time in history all over again. I am not that old but old enough to have filtered out some of that history that i learned in school and that is nothing but really depressing to think the older you get the more you forget and then what do you have left. Other than that I loved it.
I love it a lot more than going home and going over my taxes to realize that instead of getting any money back I actually owe money. Very frustrating. I have done my best to pay my credit cards and be good with money and I can’t help but feeling like I get taken pretty much for a ride. I would love to understand what the hell I could do to not get taken advantage of. My co worker Frank and i were walking the other day and he was asking me if I planned to go to grad school, I said I didn’t see what I would go for. (We of coarse were speaking in regards of going back for something having to do with visual arts and design) Maybe the more I think about it the more I will consider going back to be an accountant, this would probably be the most ill fitting title for me but at least I could understand things better. Sometimes I feel like everyone else under stands and can benefit from the system except for me, the can tell you what stock to buy and how to make a million dollars in investments and have a big portfolio or something important sounding and how to pay back all your loans with out interest (I cant tell you how frustrating it is for me to figure out how I can still keep a good credit score and adjust my school loans so that I am not losing close to a thousand dollars a year in interest), buuuuut... I can tell you how to work your F-stops. But how absurd would that be an accountant with a background in photography, I can do your taxes and then take a beautiful picture of them afterwards. So so frustrating, but its grown up life I suppose, thank god I don’t have kids or anything serious like that.
That brings be to another idea I have had lately, I have really fallen into the “Grass is Greener” mentality that I would really like to snap out of. It have not been a very positive mind space to be in, I think it might just be a result of the massive changes I went through last year. Its been a though few years when I sit back and think about the major events, but I have had a good time though them as well that i have to remember. I think I have just not been accustomed to changing where I live, changing my family situation, and the shift in friendship relationships to the grand scale that it has been on and during all of this trying to maintain my own changing identity. I know it’s very deep and profound, but it really isn’t meant to be. I just am tired of adjusting I think even though I know I have a lot more to do. Also I think I read about other people’s lives and only see surface and read into it that they don’t have the same doubts and troubles that I have to try to remember everyone has. Its not an awful thing I do see the end to a tough time I just have to focus on me rather than letting myself believe that its better to be on the other side, see because it has always been the best to be on my side.
I said it to my mom once and Cate said it to me once “ she is ordinary” I have been nothing but far from ordinary and I have to stay that way, you just cant get lost in the hustle of the city. Just have to do some personal spring cleaning which I have been thinking about doing for a while, just needing to find the time. I am in a city of endless possibilities with a competitive edge that just needs sharpening. I can’t get comfortable when I have no good reason to.
All in all is probably just a funk I have been in during the past few days that I will snap out of and then feel silly it bothered me in the first place. Ending on an up note, bob got a job and I am almost done with Geek Love which has to be one of the strangest books I have ever read, Katherine Dunn writes in a very similar way to the ideas of chuck Palahniuk but in an even better manner she is very smart in her detail and description, I find that I have to go back and reread how she has worded something to understand what is actually going on. I kind of want to read something else that she has written but I am afraid to fall into the same trap that I did with chuck Palahniuk and read 5 of his books in a row only to be very disappointed at the blatant obvious writing and character styles that did not change other than maybe sex and name and different dire situation. It just got boring after a while.
The movie was absolutely wonderful. It was just amazing to watch everything looked like an hdr photograph and the visual details were perfect. Zach Snyder is definitely a very talented individual. So I definitely enjoyed seeing the film, there really wasn’t many times during the movie where I would kind of stop and feel like it was inconsistent of unnecessary. Although I did read something over the web that there was a strong feeling that the movie was to be interpreted as pro war in regards to the Iraq conflict. Even in understanding he historical significance of Ancient Greece and their philosophies of freedom and democracy I did have a slight feeling from time to time that G.W. was going to pop up on the movie and encourage us to fight for freedom against the bad terriorists, since the term was uttered more than a few times in battle scenes. I was dicussing it this morning with my co-worker mary, ithas alot to it and it makes me want to go back and study that time in history all over again. I am not that old but old enough to have filtered out some of that history that i learned in school and that is nothing but really depressing to think the older you get the more you forget and then what do you have left. Other than that I loved it.
I love it a lot more than going home and going over my taxes to realize that instead of getting any money back I actually owe money. Very frustrating. I have done my best to pay my credit cards and be good with money and I can’t help but feeling like I get taken pretty much for a ride. I would love to understand what the hell I could do to not get taken advantage of. My co worker Frank and i were walking the other day and he was asking me if I planned to go to grad school, I said I didn’t see what I would go for. (We of coarse were speaking in regards of going back for something having to do with visual arts and design) Maybe the more I think about it the more I will consider going back to be an accountant, this would probably be the most ill fitting title for me but at least I could understand things better. Sometimes I feel like everyone else under stands and can benefit from the system except for me, the can tell you what stock to buy and how to make a million dollars in investments and have a big portfolio or something important sounding and how to pay back all your loans with out interest (I cant tell you how frustrating it is for me to figure out how I can still keep a good credit score and adjust my school loans so that I am not losing close to a thousand dollars a year in interest), buuuuut... I can tell you how to work your F-stops. But how absurd would that be an accountant with a background in photography, I can do your taxes and then take a beautiful picture of them afterwards. So so frustrating, but its grown up life I suppose, thank god I don’t have kids or anything serious like that.
That brings be to another idea I have had lately, I have really fallen into the “Grass is Greener” mentality that I would really like to snap out of. It have not been a very positive mind space to be in, I think it might just be a result of the massive changes I went through last year. Its been a though few years when I sit back and think about the major events, but I have had a good time though them as well that i have to remember. I think I have just not been accustomed to changing where I live, changing my family situation, and the shift in friendship relationships to the grand scale that it has been on and during all of this trying to maintain my own changing identity. I know it’s very deep and profound, but it really isn’t meant to be. I just am tired of adjusting I think even though I know I have a lot more to do. Also I think I read about other people’s lives and only see surface and read into it that they don’t have the same doubts and troubles that I have to try to remember everyone has. Its not an awful thing I do see the end to a tough time I just have to focus on me rather than letting myself believe that its better to be on the other side, see because it has always been the best to be on my side.
I said it to my mom once and Cate said it to me once “ she is ordinary” I have been nothing but far from ordinary and I have to stay that way, you just cant get lost in the hustle of the city. Just have to do some personal spring cleaning which I have been thinking about doing for a while, just needing to find the time. I am in a city of endless possibilities with a competitive edge that just needs sharpening. I can’t get comfortable when I have no good reason to.
All in all is probably just a funk I have been in during the past few days that I will snap out of and then feel silly it bothered me in the first place. Ending on an up note, bob got a job and I am almost done with Geek Love which has to be one of the strangest books I have ever read, Katherine Dunn writes in a very similar way to the ideas of chuck Palahniuk but in an even better manner she is very smart in her detail and description, I find that I have to go back and reread how she has worded something to understand what is actually going on. I kind of want to read something else that she has written but I am afraid to fall into the same trap that I did with chuck Palahniuk and read 5 of his books in a row only to be very disappointed at the blatant obvious writing and character styles that did not change other than maybe sex and name and different dire situation. It just got boring after a while.
posted by .Lynn Sell. at
11:30 AM
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